Love. Oh. How. I. Love. LOVE. But Does Love Always Win?

Art Direction and Photograph by: Catie Menke. Model: Heidi Doll.

Model and Copy by: Heidi Doll
Creative Direction by: Catie Menke

Love. 💗🥰🦄💫🤗🙏😍❣️😘💜
Oh. How. I. Love. LOVE.

(And all of the emojis that come with it.) 🙊

It’s been the most crazy/beautiful thing in this life that I’ve experienced. It’s brought me the most genuine kind of joy. That smile-so-big- but-you-don’t-even-know-why-you’re-smiling kind of joy. The sweet little shortness of breath that you just can’t explain... but when you catch it again, you realize how lucky you are to have found someone that has taken your breath away. 🥰 Having that person who you consider your safe place... the place where you can be your most authentic self... the place where you can TRUST. These things to me, and so much more, are LOVE. It shows itself in so many different ways.

If I’ve learned one thing along the way... it’s this: By opening up your heart to being loved, you also open it up to the possibility of heartache. Just as I’ve felt the happiest, most genuine kind of love... I’ve also felt what seemed to be the messiest, most lonely kind as well.

You see, once upon a time, I met a very special someone. 💫 Someone who just so happened to take my breath away. 😌 We had both lived very different lives up to that point. The odds seemed to be against us from the start... but when we were together, all of the messiness of the outside world seemed to go away. We took things one day at a time, enjoying and appreciating the moments we shared. He challenged me, kept me on my toes, and even laughed at my terrible (but funny) jokes. 😅🙊

As time went on, “our status” or “what we were” became unclear. Uncertainty arose, insecurities surfaced and trust was questioned. Outside distractions seemed to get the best of us, but in completely different ways. We viewed life and relationships very differently, which became our biggest obstacle. This love, as I knew it, was now complicated. 💔

As you can imagine, this caused instant conflict between my heart and my mind. I refused to believe it. This was the moment in which my patience kicked into high gear and I chose to have faith that I would eventually have these things with him... that love would win. 🙏

Up to this point in the relationship, I had loved more fiercely than I ever had, and in return, he had shown me the same, the best he knew how.

He had taken me back home to where he grew up, I had met the most important people in his life and he officially asked me to be his girlfriend over a slice of MOD pizza. 😎 Just my style. 💁‍♀️🍕

In a matter of months, everything came crashing down, and we were right back to where we started... this weird middle ground. It was now very clear, regardless of how hard we tried to meet in the middle, that we both had completely different ideas of what we wanted life to look like.

So, what now?
What was the meaning of love this time?
Did it mean giving up a part of myself to be with this person?
Did it mean to walk away from this person who I loved whole-heartedly?
Is this how my fairytale I had hoped for... had waited so long for... would end?

I felt defeated. I had so many questions and was left with no answers.

Sometimes, it seems like love doesn’t win. This was definitely one of those moments... but even in the hardest of times, this didn’t make love any less beautiful to me. 💗

Yes, sometimes it hurts... Sometimes it seems unfair... but with that, comes strength and lessons. Through this relationship and others, I’ve learned different types of love, different ways to love, and that two people with very different views of life can still experience the most beautiful connection. 🌄

Have I found the answers that I've been searching for? That’s probably something that will come with time. What I do know is that I am now aware of the love that I am capable of giving and also the love that I deserve to receive... and THAT has been the greatest gift of all. 🙏

Love. 💗 The happy kind... the messy kind... the take your breath away kind.
I feel so fortunate to have experienced it all. 🤎🦄💫