Poem: The Oceans of Anxiety + Attachment
Art Direction, Photograph and Edit by: Catie Menke. Model: Natalie Rose.
Poem by: Ashley Macha
Model: Natalie Rose
Editor: Jeni Fjelstad
Creative Direction: Catie Menke
I screamed.
But from the inside,
a place where no one could hear.
That fear of rejection,
of abandonment.
Those unwanted, clawing attachments.
My inner tension from all angles,
bubbling.
So many people had already left my life.
How could I have known that there are some people that should?
That it is sometimes for the best?
That some loss, is productive loss.
I struggled alone to hold on to myself,
and I desperately wanted to.
Because I wanted to be whole,
for the both of us.
For the person I knew was the light,
was my light.
And I caused waves of wrongs,
so much that when the tide leveled out,
when I was gasping for air, barely surfacing,
searching for your eyes,
you were gone.
Anchored away.
Grief was there with me,
even then,
as I wrestled the waves,
asking me to set aside my uncertainties
and just believe in the shoreline.
But I had lost.
Regardless of my fight,
my evolution,
my breaths out of water.
Now,
falling out of love with you
is as difficult as pulling the plug
on the entire ocean.
I’d rather go back and drown.
A place where I scream
and am still never heard.
Keep up with us
