Why Appreciation is So Important to Me During Difficult Times
Art Direction and Photograph by: Catie Menke. Model: Tishana Richards.
Copy by: Samantha Stinocher
Model: Tishana Richards
Editor: Jeni Fjelstad
Creative Direction by: Catie Menke
It’s so much easier to see everything that’s going wrong than it is to recognize what’s going right.
We saw multiple specialists and tried multiple treatments and were met with failure month after month. During that same time frame I was unable to procure a job in my field of interest and ended up working in a call center. I felt trapped. I felt like a failure. And I lost all gratitude for my situation.
I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to become any version of who I wanted to be, and I just couldn’t find anything to be grateful for. Ultimately, I realized I was suffocating and that I was the only one who could pull me out. So I found a job in the industry I was interested in and planned on working my way up to my original goal of becoming an interior designer. I fell in love with the company. Working there gave me the opportunity to create and the flexibility to pursue fertility treatments again. A light started coming on and my gratitude increased. As I focused on that gratitude I realized I was happy where I was and with who I was. I made a goal to move up within this company rather than moving on.
As time went by, my career progressed, and we had a successful twin pregnancy through in vitro fertilization (IVF)! It was easy to be grateful! But at the end of my pregnancy, my health waned. I was diagnosed with an extremely rare birth complication called Postpartum Cardiomyopathy (PPCM). I had heart failure at age 28… I missed almost a month of my babies’ lives as I was trapped in a hospital room.
I cried, and I felt bad for myself, sure. But I have never been more grateful than I was at that time in my life, than I still am! I’ve written about it many times, but my heart and soul are full of gratitude to be alive! And even more, to be an active and present force in my children’s lives, to watch them grow and learn.
Recognizing that and learning to be patient has helped my gratitude for my experiences and my circumstances increase.
My husband and I are working on growing our family again! This time, it’s through adoption rather than fertility treatments. We’ve been actively searching for a match for four months and haven’t had the opportunity to talk to anyone except an adoption scammer. Sometimes I feel myself getting discouraged, but then I remind myself that it took five years to get our boys, and of how much love I have for them no matter what happens, and I find my gratitude again.
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