Here is My Personal Advice on How to Seek a Love that Feels like Magic
Art Direction and Photograph by: Catie Menke. Model: Morgan M.
Copy by: Emily Rose
Model: Morgan M
Creative Direction: Catie Menke
In September of last year, I took my first step into my twenties. This is the time of any woman’s life that is made for her selfish yet selfless years.
As a small town girl, who graduated with only twenty students in my graduating class, I developed this small town mentality when it came to love. I remember driving with my aunt and telling her that I was the type of girl to marry someone who I grew up with. She turned around, “That is so small town of you to think that you will marry your high school sweetheart,” she said.
Although around 25% of high school sweethearts still have their spark. My magical spark is somewhere else in this next chapter of my life.
I am at the age where I am young enough to make the wrong decisions and grow, but also old enough to trust my gut and make the best decisions for myself. When it comes to love, I wanted to make sure that during this period of my life, I invested wisely.
I sat down with myself, grabbed every colorful pen I could find and a piece of paper. I made a checklist of everything that I wanted in a man or in a relationship in general. The list was longer than I intended it to be. I took a picture of it and sent it to my high school theatre teacher, who has became a life advice coach to me. Him and his wife soon called me and discussed my list with me. They slowly shortened my list and told me how most of my check points all fall into similar categories. I wanted to share my list, in hopes to feel inspired to find enchantment in your mystical fairytale of a relationship. Here is my personal advice on how to seek a love that feels like magic.
For starters, just because you are in a relationship, does not mean that it is the death of your independence. I have realized that I can manage the status of a strong independent woman and still have a man. A man should add to your happiness and value, never minimize your power.
I once read a quote that mentioned the difference between feeling safe and feeling butterflies. The man that is going to love you through your most vulnerable moments, join you on your dream adventures and be your best friend will be your growing comfort zone. If a man gives you butterflies and makes you nervous when you are around him, he is not the one. Your person will be the one who makes you feel safe and secure. When you are with them they should give you the comfortability to be yourself around them. They can give you the butterflies of happiness, but when you are with them you should feel protected.
The biggest words of advice that my father told me was that “actions speak louder than words.” If a man really wants to be with you, care for you and love you, you should never be left questioning. If a man wants something, he will go out of his way to make it his. His words may not be able to say how he feels, but if he wants to be with you he will show it through his actions. For example, it could be the little things like opening the door for you, giving you time out of his busy day, buying you flowers, calling you or even showing up to important events in your life. His actions will tell you more about his feelings for you than words ever will.
Never try to shape a man into accommodating to your lifestyle. Do not build the perfect man in your head through expectations. I told my theatre teacher that I wanted a man who could dance. Dance is such a big part of my life and if I can not dance in the kitchen, events or the rain with him, then he was not for me. I realized that was such a random trait to look for in a man. My teacher told me that although that is something you want, just because he can not dance but has all of the other amazing qualities that are meant for you is not a reason to shy him away. He mentioned that just because some people do not possess the qualities that you want does not always mean it is what is best for you. Some people give you everything you ever wanted by giving you what you never know you wanted until that person. He mentioned that if a man being able to dance was important to you, that man will learn how to dance for you, no matter how bad he is. He will go out of his way to learn to bring you happiness and fill that check on your list.
Art Direction and Photograph by: Catie Menke. Model: Morgan M.
I am a super extroverted person and can be known as a social butterfly. However, when it comes to my close friends that are basically family and my family in general, I am super introverted. I love quality over quantity and so having a man that works to put my close to heart people as a priority is important to me. On the other side of things, I think that sometimes a man’s relationship with his family tells you a lot about him as a person and what is important to him. A man who treats his mother with respect and loyalty will replicate how he treats you. I always invest my all into the person that I am dating’s family. Because I want them to be a part of my life and I know how important they are to him. When someone is important to you, the things they care about also become priorities.
Lastly, a man who pictures a future for himself has the capability of most likely picturing a future with you. I have always been an ambitious person when it comes to building a life for myself and a career. Everything that I am revolves around trying to be the best person that I can be in order to set myself up for success in the long run. A man who is career or passion driven is shown as someone who is committed. That is a quality that is important in order to find a successful relationship that is healthy to both partners.
Although everyone’s list is different for what they look for in their perfectly imperfect partner and relationship, these are some of the core values that keep the magic of love alive in companion connection.
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